The Medicine: Work, Worthiness, and the Liminal Space

“If you ask your body, is there another feeling underneath this exhaustion? Could it be grief?” my therapist asks me. 

We ask my body because it knows the truth; the mind has a habit of getting in the way.

“It says… Maybe,” I respond. 

Something inside of me immediately wants to answer yes, if I don’t give myself time to think about it. This is my intuition, I’ve learned. And even though I’ve been practicing trusting this subtle response for some time, I still have trouble quieting my conscious mind and trusting it.

“Where is it?” 

“My chest?” I know this is the answer but my voice contains the hint of a question.

“Okay, place your hand over your heart, and ask it: What is this grief telling me?”

And with that, the tears. “I’m not doing a good job. It’s not good enough.” 

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This is a personal essay on my relationship with work and worthiness, letting go of the need to achieve, and the medicine that helped me get there. 

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The Medicine: Work, Worthiness, and the Liminal Space

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